waiting for the end.. to come.

whats there to do now? ive lost everything, i dont know what to do. im like.. a ghost, an empty spirit going around the earth for nothing.. maybe its time.. maybe its my time... maybe my time.. is up? i guess now im just waiting for the end to come, waiting for my life to end.. still waiting..

what am i suppose to do?

everything i do, always ends up bad for me.. i dont know how, i dont know when, i dont know where. its just happens, its like if im never ment to be happy.. its like my life was planned to be depressing, nothing makes me happy anymore.. the one thing that use to make me happy is also the one thats hurting me.. what do i do? i seriously dont know. do i become happy and lonely? or sad and cosy.. i wonder.. all i know is that  as much as it hurts me.. im willing to take it all for you, and when i see that smile on your face.. what more is there to want? it brings life to my eyes, joy to my world. just sitting here thinking about her puts a smile on my face.. call me obsess all you like, what can i say?.. im in love :) <3

it hurts so much..

its 4:41am.. i don't know how im going to be able to sleep tonight..

we have been together for over a year now.. doesn't that mean anything to you?

i have been there for you through thick and thin.. even though i haven't given you much, its still everything i have got.. I have  never fell for a girl like this and it sucks because you don't feel the same way.. it hurts so much to know that your not over him, it hurts so much that even though i have done my best for over a year, it still didn't impact nothing, all these tears i have  cried even in front of you was.... nothing.. it seems like you want to let me go but i just cant.. maybe im just being selfish.. im not saying im going to die without you but i can say that its going to hurt so much for me to bare.

i love you, i really mean it. i would of done so much for you, i would of given up the whole world for you, you were truly my everything.. 

now when i look at all the times we had i dont even know if you really did feel that way.. now when i look at our pictures i dont even know what to think anymore..

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Firstly

Im suprised i even made a blog, ive always thought it was stupid but then again.. everything is stupid. i guess i just need someone to talk to and who else to share to but myself..